I don’t know that I have anything important or inspiring to say today, but I thought I should post anyway. I’ve been journaling daily for my creative writing class, and it’s helping me to be honest and open with myself about how I feel. That’s more difficult than it sounds, I swear. Particularly when you’re subconsciously doing your best to deny your feelings because you know that reckoning with said feelings might be painful or scary. Right now, there are things in my life that are bothering me, of course, but as I said, sometimes it’s easier to ignore gut feelings and hope they just go away on their own. I don’t even know what’s bothering me right now. In spite of my apparent internal conflict, though, I feel pretty good today, just about life in general. Like, I feel like things are okay right now, and I’m genuinely looking forward to tomorrow for little, insignificant reasons I can’t quite pinpoint.
In Morality, we’re learning all about Theology of the Body. I really like it so far, and Christopher West is pretty great. There are just certain things that had never occurred to me before that are just clicking in my brain as we read through his book. “Life-giving love,” for one, and how human sexuality actually images the Trinity. Of course I’d heard that plenty of times, but I thought it was a bunch of fluff. Didn’t know that actually meant anything, but it does! So, God the Father loves God the Son; the Son loves the Father in return. The product of their selfless mutual love is the Holy Spirit. Yeah, their love is so great and beautiful that it creates a third person. And suddenly I just got it. THAT is how a man and a woman are called to love each other. THAT is why the Church is so adamantly against contraception. That was a few days ago, and it’s a small epiphany, I know, but it’s something, and an important something.
I’m going to close with a quote from Christopher West that sparked something for me:
“If we want to know what is most sacred in this world, all we need do is look for what is most violently profaned.”
Think that one over.