How to Lead a Man to Christ?

Four years in an all-girls Catholic high school prepared me for college writing and defending my faith in the face of persecution; it didn’t prepare for the kind of male attention college has brought me so far.  I really don’t mean to be vain, but I can’t walk a block in the city or take the light rail without getting complimented on my appearance and/or asked for my number by multiple men.  I suddenly have guys waiting for me after my classes, offering to take me to lunch, carry my books and walk me to class. This is all so new and bizarre to me, having been holed up in my Rapunzel tower for the past four years.  The first day of school, I had to double-take when I walked into a classroom full of guys.  I haven’t had classes with guys since I was fourteen.  Furthermore, last I checked, I still look about fourteen or fifteen, with my “Cabbage Patch Kid” cheeks and round “baby face.”  Needless to say, my body image isn’t quite ideal either; I spent my holidays in an eating disorder rehab center last year.  So, the fact that so many guys are suddenly paying me notice is kind of overwhelming to me and my Ugly Duckling Syndrome.  Frankly, I don’t think I can distinguish a real, genuine compliment from words of lust and objectification.  Men are actually looking at my body, and suddenly, I remember why modesty is so crucially important.

Anyway, I’ve recently met this guy I’ll call “John”, and he kind of has my head spinning for a number of reasons.  I met him a few weeks ago at a barbecue on campus and found out he’s a senior at a nearby college, a Criminal Justice and Psychology major planning to join the FBI.  I immediately thought he was quite attractive, charismatic and intelligent, so when he invited me to accompany him to Barnes & Noble, I was thrilled at the chance to keep talking to him.  We sat in B&N for roughly three hours, just talking about psychology and religion and whatnot.  He had all sorts of questions, and somehow I ended up telling him about my family, religion and even my eating disorder (he actually guessed that, among other things).  He told me that I reminded him a lot of his ex-girlfriend, who was, like me, devoutly Christian and chaste, though he himself is a cradle Catholic-turned-agnostic.  He said something under his breath, and when I asked him to repeat, he said, “Oh, I just told you that you have a really cute face.”  He grinned and explained to me that my reaction to that comment—to look down, turn bright red in the face and loosen my shoulders—was a foolproof indication that I found him attractive.  I admitted that he was probably right, then he bought me a Starbucks latte.  It started raining hard, and he offered to make me dinner at his apartment, saying that, knowing about my disorder, he couldn’t let me go without eating.  Being the trusting, reckless person I am, I accepted.  (Go ahead and lecture me about that, I need it.)

He and I have since been hanging out like that every other day during the school week.  After my classes, he’ll take me out to lunch, or we’ll watch a movie or South Park at his apartment (he has roommates, but we typically just hang out in his room).  I can’t help but worry that maybe that in itself is sinful, though he’s never tried anything on me, or even kissed me.  He likes to tickle me a lot and touch me in playful ways, though.  We curl up next to each other sometimes while watching movies on the floor, which is probably only significant to me due to my lack of experience with males, haha.  He’s had plenty of sexual experience, though, so he probably thinks nothing of the amount of physical contact we have.  I sometimes can’t help but wonder why he invests time and money into a shy freshman girl who won’t “repay” him with sex, especially since he has plenty of female friends who are perfectly willing to put out.  I think it ultimately has to do with the fact that I remind him of his ex.  They dated for eight months (the longest he’s ever been in a relationship), never had sex and broke up a while ago.  It’s obvious he still cares about her a lot, and he often draws parallels between her and me.  I’m convinced that he actually does care about me, and that indicates that at core, he seeks purity of heart.  He’s said himself that he’s tired of casual sex.  He could use some grace, grace like a hurricane.

Anyway, he left the country yesterday for vacation in France, and he’ll be back in about two weeks.  I sat with him at the train station before he left, and religion came up.  To tease me, he talked about the French girls he’d be meeting, and I rolled my eyes and told him I’d be praying the Rosary for him while he’s gone.  He seemed interested in the fact that I pray for him, then said that he has problems with certain “inconsistencies” in Christianity.  I told him that when he gets back home, I want to take him to some religious functions.  He was cynical, saying that youth groups are all the same and that he’d probably hate it the second we got there.  I really want to help him see Catholicism in a new light the way I did when I found my faith.  Yes, I’m attracted to him, but regardless of whether that works out, I want to lead him to Christ.  I’m now including him in my intentions when I pray my nightly chastity prayers, and as I promised him, I plan to pray a Rosary for him.  What else can I do?  I’ve never fully devoted myself to someone else’s conversion before.  It’s usually a passive thing I pray about when I remember, but I want to be his active prayer warrior.  I want to take him on dates to volunteer at soup kitchens and help him find Jesus however I can.

13 thoughts on “How to Lead a Man to Christ?

  1. Does this mean that you are planning on becoming a Christian too..??
    It will mean that you have to leave your catholic dogmas behind you,, and find a bible somewhere..

    If you can find one,,?

    you need to find Jesus first I think. curious that you only mention Jesus once in your little essay…. about you..

    • Sir, I don’t know whether you’ve seen my blog post that you personally inspired. As I said, I’m not going to take your attacks personally and retaliate, but I will say that I don’t think it’s right for you to play Christian Gestapo. It just doesn’t seem very Christian.

      With all your experience and expertise in anti-Catholic evangelism, surely you know the roots of the KJV. Based on St. Jerome’s Latin Vulgate (circa 400 AD), the KJV removed seven divinely inspired books simply because Martin Luther decided they didn’t support his doctrine. These books were considered by Christians to be canonical up until the 16th century, when one man had the audacity to alter the Word of God. To answer your comment, I have a Bible, and it contains all 73 tomes of divine truth, everything Jesus Christ has revealed to us about Himself. Your manmade, distorted version of Sacred Scripture doesn’t hold up too well in light of that.

      I hope that you can stop casting stones long enough to recognize the hatred and condemnation that fuel your blog. It’s not healthy for your relationship with Christ—believe me, I know from personal experience. I’ll be praying for you in hopes that Jesus will enrapture your heart and lead you to authentic Christian love. You have a nice day, and please stop telling people whether they’re real Christians. Let’s leave judgment to the Judge, shall we?

      • I dont know about gestapo.. perhaps you are thinking of the vatican involvemnt with hitler or something.??

        Your statement that the KJV was based on the latin vulgate is utter rubbish..

        you are the one casting stones ..undefied stones…

        2 John 9-11,, it is the responsibility of any Christian.. to make sure they are not fellowshipping with false brethren,, or with those who teach a false gospel.. as catholicism does..

        I merely wish to pint out the false teachings of roman catholicism to those who do not realise they are being fed a lie / lies,, your so called pope is forever tweeting false teachings.. and i think it is important to point those false teachings out,, which you evidently do not like…

      • Christian Gestapo..its ironic that you should falsely accuse me of being Gestapo.. when that organisation is very much a catholic invention,,by the Jesuits..In fact Hitler was doing the things he did, with the support of the Vatican..

        I am certainly not trying to be Gestapo,,I know that you accuse me of that, to put what I said, in a bad light..

        Fact is. someone has to point out your false teachings,, and demoniac doctrines.. that you are propagating..what i sometimes refer to as catholic propaganda..
        The Apocryphal writings have been illustrated a lot of times to be unbiblical..they are never referred to by the Apostles..

        And as far as I know,, martin Luther never decided to have those books removed..anyway..if your that desperate to get the Apocrypha.. it is easy enough..
        i have one myself..

        Anyone who reads it with any integrity at all,, would realize,,that they are not divinely inspired.. but then you are not christian.. so would not expect you to come to that realization..

        What would you know about ‘ authentic ‘ christian love..??

        You obviously imply that i am a hater,, to further, in your own mind, the belief. that I am wrong..

        It is always correct to point out false doctrine..I suggest that you get a bible..
        If you can find one..

    • Ignore this guy, Katy. First, I wonder who he thinks he is to judge your heart. Second, I’ve dealt with him on my blog and he seldom posts there anymore. Don’t let him post his YouTube tripe.

      • first. I am not judging someones heart..
        I am merely pointing out doctrinal errors of the roman catholic religious system..
        The catholic so called church is the most deceitful organisation on this earth,,and it teaches a false Gospel.

        And for you to say that you have ‘ dealt with me ‘ is totally arrogant of you….I seldom post on your blog, because i have other things that i am doing, and I am familiar with some of the catholics that post on your I know that your just continually going to talk utter nonsense..

        You catholics are deceived and deceiving others with your false dont even want others to make up their own minds e.g. Katy..

        is my video tripe is…i am only googling what is on the net..and showing images of catholics engaged in practices, that you keep denying,, and also illustrating the definition of Voodoo, which of course you do not like,,

        Voodoo is essentially catholic doctrine/practices, mixed with afro-caribbean witchcraft..

        Your mass is witchcraft.!!
        roman catholics are the Hindus of India.

      • I don’t want to hijack Katy’s blog, so this will be my last post here, to the spook.

        You are judging her heart. She already is a Christian, yet you claim she’s not. That’s judging her heart.
        You are ‘merely’ pointing out your opinion of what errors Catholicism, the original Christian Church, are. The fact is, there are no doctrinal errors in Catholicism. To say so says that Christ could possibly be wrong.
        Regarding my blog, I monitor who comes and goes, and you…don’t. Fact is, I’ve been very Christian with you. I’m not arrogant at all. You’re the arrogant one coming on a Catholic website of someone who knows a lot of their faith, and trying to dissuade them from that faith.
        It seems to me that Katy has made up her mind. She has free will.
        As a commercial once said “I saw it on the Internet, so it must be true. They can’t post anything on the Internet that’s not true.” “Where’d you hear that?” “On the Internet”
        As for voodoo, it is corrupted Christianity at it’s finest. There’s no doubt that the devil tries to corrupt it, however, how many “voodoos” do you think there are???

  2. It’s hard to lead someone where they don’t want to go. Hopefully, he’ll understand that your faith is a big part of who you are, and will take interest out of love for you. Then as he grows and learns more, he will develop the relationship with Jesus you are praying for.
    But, I’m probably not the best one to talk about this since my cradle catholic husband does not practice the faith…or any other.
    As for your troll… I would challenge him to read the apostolic fathers, those who were writing well before the split, if he thinks he’s got it figured out… Or do research on the Dead Sea Scrolls. Both have a way of settling the debate.

  3. I would suggest that you begin by inviting him to pray the rosary with you. Secondly, if he wants to be serious with you, he should go down the Chastity road with you, pledging it to you.
    Regarding your surprise at the attention, from your picture, you’re not unattractive at all. But that doesn’t mean guys should be flocking to your side at any opportunity.
    Does he take you out in public at all? Just move slowly, Katy.

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